 |
| Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash |
The moment you take your first actual step towards sobriety
is the moment you save your life. It will not be easy, but you will get there.
Backstory
Before you read on, I want you to know some of my backstory
and why I want to help.
In less than two months, I will be two years sober; before
that was a cringe-worthy four to five years of drug abuse and sadness.
Cringe-worthy is precisely the term to describe that part of
my life because I was not acting like my true self. Drugs change you; whether
you want to consider those decisions as good because they molded your newfound
personality and intelligence, or you think of them as bad because you almost
killed yourself, whichever way you want to remember your addiction, it changed
you. And, in the second you took action on your decision to get clean, YOU
changed you. No one else can make that choice for you, so be proud of yourself.
I do not even remember the moment my thinking changed, but I
know that the day after I checked into a detox facility, I felt lost. I was
lucky to have gotten to a point in my addiction that I felt ready to move on
with my life. No, I did not have any confidence, and yes, I hated being sober
sometimes at first, but I knew I wanted to be clean already. Sobriety is not a
straightforward process. In my opinion, it is a combination of your mindset and
willingness. You can hate every bit of this new life change the entire time it
is happening, but as long as you are gritting through it and don’t walk away
out of frustration, things will get easier.
I can’t say what method and mindset will work best for
keeping you off of drugs, because I’m not you, but I do think it works to use
one of your weaknesses as a strength. My stubbornness alone is what got me
through the worst days, nothing else.
Recreating Your Life
For me, the next biggest milestone after getting sober was
the action of setting up a new and somewhat normal life for myself. I say
“normal” but I am referring to a life that is way less chaotic and a lot more healthy.
#1 – Get a Job
Yep, it sucks. Just find one and deal with it till you can
get a better job. You can always work up to better paying and more bearable
employers. My advice would be to take it easy at first and maybe don’t let it
suck the soul right out of you that you just put back when you got clean.
Balance is everything. You will figure out an overall
balance for your life as time goes on. It will never be perfect, and life is
going to really suck sometimes, but with smart choices, family and friends will
be willing to help when you need it most.
I know, I know, some of those people did not give you money
when you asked for it during your addiction, but I can imagine you can guess
why. The people who care about you, want you to be better and will do
everything they can to boost you up to a better life, as long as you are clean.
#2 – Find a Damn Hobby
For however long your drug abuse lasted, getting high was
your main hobby, and it most likely took up the majority of your time on a
day-to-day basis. That space of time still exists, so you need to think about
filling it.
Take your time; think about what you liked to do before the
addiction. If you want to feel fully alive again and have a purpose, then this
step matters. Whom do you want to be as a person? What defines your
personality? Even if it’s just a weird quirk that you have always had and that
you remember a person mentioning at some point, it is a part of you.
Every person is unique. That’s why getting sober is a
different process for every addict. Each person thinks differently, enjoys
different aspects of life, and likes different kinds of food; but one thing all
recovering addicts have in common is our addiction. As horrible as addiction is,
it brings people together. People who have never had an addiction can only
understand the mental part of it to an extent, no matter how much you explain
to them they will never understand the feelings. However, you should not feel
alone, because there are thousands of people all around you that can help,
people who know what you are going through. This realization is the main reason
why I finally worked up the courage to post this article as an attempt to help
anyone who needs it. I understand now that we have to stick together and be a
motivating force to one another to build up a life that is both rewarding and happy,
one that we would never give up.
Your addiction should not define you. Yes, it made you into
the person you are today and grants you access to a level of connection that
some people will never know, but it is healthy to move on with a new life, a
life filled with responsibilities, awareness, friendship, love, and pure joy. Part
of that happiness will come from finding a hobby or something to enjoy in your
free time. It might take a while to figure this out, but it can be a key coping
mechanism for stress.
#3 – Find a Sober Friend
It’s likely that through rehab and support groups, you will
make friends in the recovery community. It is good to have friends who are in
recovery to help keep you focused, but you should also find a friend that has
always been sober. Between the meetings I’ve attended and the group therapy
sessions I’ve endured, I’ve noticed that even though a person has become clean,
it does not mean they are any less toxic. Sometimes it is nice to hang out with
someone who is a little more mentally sane. Just keep in mind that someone who
has always been sober, might not understand your boundaries with alcohol and
other substances, and they certainly do not know how triggers work. However,
you can be open with them if they are willing to listen, and if they are a good
friend, they will respect the lines you have drawn in the sand.
#4 – Set Goals
Big or small, goals can help you progress faster to the place
you want to be. It can help a lot with learning not to procrastinate on
everything; at the end of each day, set a few small goals for tomorrow that are
obtainable. Make this process a habit so that you always get something
productive done, even if it is just making an important phone call and going to
the grocery store. It’s never good to have tons of open time in your day because
that is when the overthinking starts and progression stops.
Long term goals are great too. My biggest long-term goal is
to finish school, mainly because of the jobs that follow. When you set a long-term
goal, there should be some short-term goals that you must meet to reach the
overall long-term goal. To finish school, I have to complete each semester, and
most importantly stay sober the entire time. Goals help keep you clean since
you are always working towards something better. At the end of one goal, make
another.
I still have problems with setting goals, even though they
are beneficial. Especially for procrastinators like me, it is easy to find an
excuse to avoid responsibilities. You have to try and push through the discomfort.
Otherwise, the items on your to-do list add up and create whole new stress.
#5 – Never Forget You are an Addict
It’s easy to get wrapped up in everything you are busy doing
in your new life and forget about what is important. Never let yourself forget
that at one point you were still in the middle of your addiction looking for a
way out, wondering if it will ever end. As long as you remember that, you will
always remain grateful for what you have now. Your family and even your
children might not be by your side one day, and you will think back to your
relationship with them and how you were or were not there for them. The best
part about being grateful is that you always make the most out of the time you
have with your loved ones.
Lastly – Never Resort Back
to Using
No matter how much you get stressed while getting sober or
how many cravings you have, never give in to the temptation. Getting high that
one time is not worth losing everything you have built.
There are healthy ways to cope with stress; when you
suppress your feelings with drugs or alcohol, you are not just suppressing the
bad feelings, but the good ones as well.
It does not matter how “functional,” you think you are while
using, as long as you are continuing to use, you are cutting off your ability
to think and have reason. Ultimately, it just makes you a lot dumber.
Once you get over the first big hump of getting clean and focused,
the rewards that life gives you are priceless.
Author: Cassandra M. Johnson
Date: 9/26/2019
Comments
Post a Comment
Share your thoughts and advice!