I Killed My Cilantro

I Killed My Cilantro: An Instructional Guide to Killing Your Indoor Plants

Growing plants indoors is a difficult task for most people. In the beginning, it seems fine. You plant your new seeds in some fresh soil, water it, and then watch in awe as it surprisingly starts to sprout in, “less than a week!” It’s all hope and happiness at first.

Then, it all goes to sh&#.

How It All Began

This sad and heart-wrenching story begins with an impulsive buy from my local Walgreens.

On a critical trip to the store for diapers and baby food, I somehow ended up browsing the clearance aisle for a solid 25 minutes, no less. And, in those 25 minutes, I had a realization that I desperately needed to start an entire garden on the windowsill in my bedroom. Who knew?! I’ve successfully grown plants in my room before. Granted it was in high school, but it gave me reassurance on my new mission.

I know I’m not the only person that has been in a situation like this before. We cling onto an idea for a short amount of time, obsessing over it, and then we let it go and find something else to enjoy for a while. Sometimes, you find a hobby that sticks and becomes a key part of who you are. It’s all part of being a human adult. Obsession is anything but good for your mental health, and it keeps you distracted from your priorities. However, I don’t think it’s all bad if you only let it happen in moderation. If growing a cilantro plant in your bedroom for a while is your small escape from the stressful and robotic society that we live in, then go for it.

So, about a week goes by, and my 3 new herb plants – basil, chives, and cilantro – have begun to sprout; things are looking hopeful. Another few weeks pass, and they’re flourishing. But, once they hit the 2-month mark, they’re dead, moved outside, and filled to the brim with rainwater. I won’t bore you with the depressing details that led up to this point, but I can try to give you some help on how to keep the same thing from happening to your indoor plants.

How to Kill Your Indoor Plants

(Sarcasm…if you didn’t catch onto that.)

If you are actually wanting plants to survive, do the exact opposite of these steps.

Step One: Drown Your Plants.

Water your plant until the soil is completely saturated, and water fills the plant container up to its brim. It will take approximately 2 days for drowning to occur.

Step Two: No Sunlight!

Keep your window curtains shut and your plant sheltered from sunrays.

Step Three: Leave all dead leaves/sprouts in the plant holder.

If you don’t remove dead parts of the plant, they will be a burden on the healthy sprouts and take up space in the planter. Leave them in and you’re sure to kill your indoor plant!

In All Seriousness

I’m not 100% sure why my herb plants died. I think it is sometimes best to use fresh water or rainwater rather than tap water, like what I used. My window is also in a place that gets little sunlight. Pay attention to how your plant responds to different things, like the amount of water you gave it the day before and if the window it’s next to is open or closed. The biggest mistake I made was treating all three types of my herbs the same; I didn’t do my research and personalize growing based on the water and sun needs of each plant. All plants are different and they each have specific requirements their caretaker needs to follow for the plant to survive. I have saved you some time by putting together an Herb Index, which you can view in the next section. It will explain to you the needs of the most common herbs. Use it to your advantage. Good luck!

Herb Index

(Information on herbs and their survival needs)

Herb	Annual/ Perennial	Water	Sun/Shade	When to Plant Indoors
Basil	Annual	Well-drained, barely moist soil	6-8 hours of direct sunlight per day	Early spring or fall
Cilantro			Full sun to light shade	Fall or winter
Dill		Well-drained soil	Part sun/ part shade	Early summer
Arugula			Full sun	Early spring
Rosemary		Well-drained, loamy soil	6-8 hours of sunlight per day	Late winter
Oregano	Perennial	Well-drained soil	Full sun	Early Spring
Marjoram			Full sun
Thyme			Mostly sun
Sage		Drought-tolerant	Medium to Full sun
Chives		Moist soil	Full sun
Mint		Lots of water	Some shade
Tarragon		Well-drained soil	Full sun	Around April

Author                                                                                                                                    Date

Cassandra Johnson                                                                                                July 12, 2019